Singles Counseling Longmont CO

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Eric Meyer, Ph.D., LPC, CAC III
(303) 379-1190
10955 Westmoor Drive, #400
Westminster, CO
Specialty
Abuse issues,Couples,Family,Child,Adolescent,Sexual Issues,Addictions,Adjustment Disorders,Adolescents,Adult Children of Alcoholics,Adults,AIDS/HIV,Alcoholism,Anger Management,Assessment / Selection,Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorders / ADD,Biofeedback,Brief Psychotherapy,Children,Coaching / Performance Improvement,Cognitive,Couples,Depression,Diagnosis,Families,Gay & Lesbian Issues,Gender Identity / Bisexual,General,Grief,Marital and Family Therapy,Marital Therapy,Mens Issues,Mood Disor

Levine Allison PhD & Levine Peter PhD
(303) 678-7455
709 Kimbark
Longmont, CO
 
Achieve Counseling & Therapy
(303) 682-5790
500 Kimbark
Longmont, CO
 
Hall-Taylor Linda Phd
(303) 447-9293
9647 N 63rd
Longmont, CO
 
Kathleen Cundall
(303) 776-0855
420 21st Ave
Longmont, CO
 
Hope Weiss, LCSW
(303) 717-8645
627 Kimbark Street
Longmont, CO
 
Corporate Psychological Services
(303) 449-7755
1361 Francis
Longmont, CO
 
Louis Krupnick & Assoc
(303) 651-1515
515 Kimbark
Longmont, CO
 
Brown R G (Jerry) Cpa
(303) 776-6412
1707 Main St
Longmont, CO
 
Foothills Counseling Center
(303) 772-7400
2919 17th
Longmont, CO
 

Only the Lonely

The pain of social isolation can be harmful to your overall well-being.

by Claire Sykes

May 2010

It’s Saturday night and, once again, you’re home alone; your mind drifts to that party where everyone seemed to be having more fun than you. And then there’s all those overtime hours and solo drive-through dinners. It’s enough to make anyone feel downright lonely.

If you often feel lonely, you’re not alone. Roughly 60 million Americans are lonely right now, says John Cacioppo, PhD, a professor at the University of Chicago and author (with William Patrick) of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection (Norton, www.scienceofloneliness.com ). Everyone can feel a little isolated sometimes. But when loneliness becomes chronic, interfering with daily life and hindering happiness, Cacioppo says it can “become a risk factor for illness and early death.”

Broken Connections

Being alone doesn’t always mean being lonely. “Loneliness is the emotional pain you feel when your need for connection isn’t being met,” Cacioppo says. “What matters is your subjective response to the situation.” It’s normal to feel lonely when your daughter takes off for college, your husband divorces you or your doctor tells you you’ve got cancer. If you live alone and have neither an intimate partner nor a satisfying social network, or if you struggle with money or health problems, you are also more likely to feel lonely. But if you enjoy being by yourself for hours or even weeks on end, that’s not loneliness—that’s solitude.

Humans are built to feel loneliness because we are basically social animals who need to bond and cooperate with others—as couples, families, communities and cultures—in order to thrive. It comes from our prehistoric days, when being alone meant getting eaten by that saber-toothed tiger.

“Our research today with brain scans and physiological markers suggests that loneliness is a biological construct, much like hunger, thirst or physical pain,” says Cacioppo. “It has evolved as a signal to change behavior, to prompt one to build or renew connections, and to promote social trust, cohesiveness and collective action, in order to ensure survival.”

In loneliness, perception is everything. “Some people are more sensitive to the pain of perceived isolation,” says Louise Hawkley, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Chicago. People can feel lonely even when they’ve got friends and family around. “There is some indication of a heritable component to loneliness,” notes Hawkley. “An insecure maternal-attachment bond as an infant or a negative event in childhood can trigger loneliness in genetically susceptible individuals.”

Because we’re wired to experience loss of social connection as a threat to our well-being, feeling lonely can also leave us feeling scared. “This may translate as a hypervigilance about others and their perceptions of you,” says Hawkley. “Without necessarily being aware of it, you m...

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